Today was an emotional day in this journey. Bev took time to talk to the social worker at the safe home where Charlie is living and found out that he is really struggling behaviorally, and more importantly, with attachment. Because he has had such little bond with his caregivers over his lifetime, he is at risk for significant issues forming relationships with others in the future. If you wonder more about this you can read up on "Attachment Disorders" or "Reactive Attachment Disorder". We aren't sure yet if he has some mild attachment issues or more significant ones. Just so you know, the only real thing that we wrote down before this process started that, for us, would make us walk away, was Reactive Attachment Disorder. So, as DCF decides if they are willing to do an evaluation on him, we will wait and go see him this Friday. We will not introduce ourselves to him, rather just play with him and the other kids there. But if DCF cannot give us more concrete information about his attachment issues, we may need to walk away from this....which is very sad.
This is not a definite, but we have to see what DCF is willing to do to get this kid an appropriate placement, which may be with us and which may not.
Until then....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A Rainy Day Meeting
We t0ok Friday Sept 26th off from work to have a meeting with DCF. Bev had a hard time getting through the week, thinking every day was Friday. We traveled up to Willimantic, had some lunch...yeah right we were so nervous...but we did eat. Our meeting was at 1pm and we met with our social Worker, Karen, and the 2 Social Workers who work with Charlie. This is what they told us:
He is adorable, everyone in the DCF office wants to take him home
He is impulsive and likes to climb his dresser and jump off of it over to his bed. (Gabe commented, "I did that too")
He has pretty bad tantrums and doesn't like to clean up his toys when he is done playing.
He has great manners and says please and thank you.
He has blond hair and blue eyes and is a little on the husky side. (Gabe commented, "I was too")
He doesn't have much of a bond with his mom and has endured neglect for the past 4 years
He might not have ever had his own bedroom because his mom and he moved around a lot
He loves Matchbox cars, the movie Cars, anything Cars. (Bev commented, "good, our last name is Carr")
Our next step is to go observe him without him knowing that we are potentially his new family. (to write that is unreal!) We plan to go see him one day this week. Until then...
He is adorable, everyone in the DCF office wants to take him home
He is impulsive and likes to climb his dresser and jump off of it over to his bed. (Gabe commented, "I did that too")
He has pretty bad tantrums and doesn't like to clean up his toys when he is done playing.
He has great manners and says please and thank you.
He has blond hair and blue eyes and is a little on the husky side. (Gabe commented, "I was too")
He doesn't have much of a bond with his mom and has endured neglect for the past 4 years
He might not have ever had his own bedroom because his mom and he moved around a lot
He loves Matchbox cars, the movie Cars, anything Cars. (Bev commented, "good, our last name is Carr")
Our next step is to go observe him without him knowing that we are potentially his new family. (to write that is unreal!) We plan to go see him one day this week. Until then...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The First Call
On Friday September 19, 2008...we got the first call about Charlie. Well, let me back up first...because the date of the call seems a little more significant with the rest of the story.
We have been working with DCF since January 2007 when we made the decision to learn more about adopting a child who was taken away from their parents due to neglect or abuse. We took classes that finished May 2007 and then...well...waited. We moved in the meantime which took us out of the matching business for a while and then in May 2008 we were back and ready for a call. But not a single call came in. Then Bev started to become irritated, just this month. She attended a meeting at the local DCF for work purposes and made a mental note to call them the next day...which was Sept 19th 2008. Before she could get around to it, Karen Smith, our social worker called her...and told her we had been matched for a 4 year old boy named Charlie. See, doesn't it sound good so far.
Karen gave us some info about Charlie, his age, where he was living, some of what his circumstances were and recommended we go to the DCF office and meet with his Social Worker to get the meat of the info...so that is our plan! Until then...
We have been working with DCF since January 2007 when we made the decision to learn more about adopting a child who was taken away from their parents due to neglect or abuse. We took classes that finished May 2007 and then...well...waited. We moved in the meantime which took us out of the matching business for a while and then in May 2008 we were back and ready for a call. But not a single call came in. Then Bev started to become irritated, just this month. She attended a meeting at the local DCF for work purposes and made a mental note to call them the next day...which was Sept 19th 2008. Before she could get around to it, Karen Smith, our social worker called her...and told her we had been matched for a 4 year old boy named Charlie. See, doesn't it sound good so far.
Karen gave us some info about Charlie, his age, where he was living, some of what his circumstances were and recommended we go to the DCF office and meet with his Social Worker to get the meat of the info...so that is our plan! Until then...
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