Gabe and I went to a parenting workshop 2 weeks ago and the presenter shared two songs and their lyrics that represent what children like Isaiah, traumatized, neglected and removed from their birth parents feel and struggle with. Needless to say, when she played them and showed the lyrics, I couldn't stop crying. It's so easy to get caught up in day to day things and not remember all that this little boy has been through. So I thought I'd share them because it was a helpful and emotional experience for us.
I am a Rock
Remember the Tinman
(this is by Tracy Chapman, who grew up in Foster Care)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Big changes!
Hello Basketball fans~
I hope you are all enjoying March Madness. I only wonder what kind of name Jimmer is?!?!?! It's all over the tournament and I find it interesting. Gabe is rooting for BYU in the final four so he is always talking about Jimmer. Jimmer this...Jimmer that...Go Jimmer. Ok then.
Onto non basketball topics...and there are many! I honestly don't even know where to begin. Two weeks ago, we made a decision to remove Isaiah from his Day Care. There was an incident and we were less than pleased with the Day Care owner's response. We pulled him for a week to figure things out, changed our work schedules to be home for The Dude and somehow made it work. At the end of the week we realized something. Everyone was happier. We were more tired due to the change but as a family, we were more at peace. We got to thinking...could we do this for a while...like til the end of the school year and see how it goes? And that's what we've decided to do. Isaiah is so thrilled to be home with us each day. We have a very part time sitter for a couple of hours Tuesday and Thursday whom he also loves...and she comes to our house.
We've learned that it gives us many more opportunities to work through any issues with Isaiah's behaviors. It provides so much more consistency and we are just less stressed, which was the most surprising. This week has been a little harder for The Dude because he gets scared as he bonds more with us but being home we are able to work through those things with no interruption or outside influences! Sweet. It's been a very positive change!
We PLAN to meet @ DCF on Wednesday, this Wednesday to sign paperwork that will move us to the final stages of the adoption. We hope there will be no changes in this plan but know other things are possible. BUT best case scenario...we sign papers....and in 4-6 weeks the adoption s FINAL! Yuuuup. It's nuts. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and revel in the fact that we can start making our own decisions for our family. That has been such a stress relief, at least for me! Isaiah is talking all about changing his name...and seems excited about it. We will soon start working on him spelling his last name! It will be easier once it's Carr! Piece of cake.
We have an exciting weekend ahead of us with a cousins extravaganza planned for Saturday. All the Frenette cousins and their kids are descending upon Casa Carr for food, drink and fun. Should be about 8 or 9 adults and as many small fries. Look out! Gabe plans to make his Special Subs. Mmmmm!
Wishing you all a fun weekend!
PS...when I ran spell check on this entry...it went nuts on Jimmer's name. Right!
I hope you are all enjoying March Madness. I only wonder what kind of name Jimmer is?!?!?! It's all over the tournament and I find it interesting. Gabe is rooting for BYU in the final four so he is always talking about Jimmer. Jimmer this...Jimmer that...Go Jimmer. Ok then.
Onto non basketball topics...and there are many! I honestly don't even know where to begin. Two weeks ago, we made a decision to remove Isaiah from his Day Care. There was an incident and we were less than pleased with the Day Care owner's response. We pulled him for a week to figure things out, changed our work schedules to be home for The Dude and somehow made it work. At the end of the week we realized something. Everyone was happier. We were more tired due to the change but as a family, we were more at peace. We got to thinking...could we do this for a while...like til the end of the school year and see how it goes? And that's what we've decided to do. Isaiah is so thrilled to be home with us each day. We have a very part time sitter for a couple of hours Tuesday and Thursday whom he also loves...and she comes to our house.
We've learned that it gives us many more opportunities to work through any issues with Isaiah's behaviors. It provides so much more consistency and we are just less stressed, which was the most surprising. This week has been a little harder for The Dude because he gets scared as he bonds more with us but being home we are able to work through those things with no interruption or outside influences! Sweet. It's been a very positive change!
We PLAN to meet @ DCF on Wednesday, this Wednesday to sign paperwork that will move us to the final stages of the adoption. We hope there will be no changes in this plan but know other things are possible. BUT best case scenario...we sign papers....and in 4-6 weeks the adoption s FINAL! Yuuuup. It's nuts. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and revel in the fact that we can start making our own decisions for our family. That has been such a stress relief, at least for me! Isaiah is talking all about changing his name...and seems excited about it. We will soon start working on him spelling his last name! It will be easier once it's Carr! Piece of cake.
We have an exciting weekend ahead of us with a cousins extravaganza planned for Saturday. All the Frenette cousins and their kids are descending upon Casa Carr for food, drink and fun. Should be about 8 or 9 adults and as many small fries. Look out! Gabe plans to make his Special Subs. Mmmmm!
Wishing you all a fun weekend!
PS...when I ran spell check on this entry...it went nuts on Jimmer's name. Right!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Follow Up
Greetings
It is Tuesday here already and the weeks just keep flying by. We are pleased with that because it means that Spring gets here sooner. Our HUGE piles of snow have melted and the ground is a massive puddle of mud...which 4 year olds love.
I wanted to update everyone on Isaiah's final visit with his birth mom. It was on 2/25 and it was an emotional day. He met with her and she did an amazing job telling him why she could not care for him and why she wanted him to live and be cared for by us. He was nervous most of the time. She made him a recordable book entitled "On the Night You Were Born". Her voice is reading each page as you look at them. It is very sweet and how she brought herself to do any of this is amazing to us!
At the end we all met together and cried and hugged. With him in the middle. It was a chance for him to see that we all are ok with each other and that he is very loved. We took a picture of all of us together, which is not blown up and framed on his bedroom wall. Hopefully it won't be too sad for him to have it there.
We continue to wait for DCF to finish paperwork to allow us to move into the final stage of this process. Seriously, the day cannot come fast enough for us to just be parents and a family without being micromanaged and intervened upon.
JP is doing very well, by the way. For a while there he was losing weight and became pretty fragile. But now we are pureeing his food (yup) and he is eating like a champ. He is the sweetest pup in the world, really and a huge sense of pleasure and support to us in the tough times.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Interesting read!
On this rainy and chilly Sunday afternoon I have been doing some reading. Came across an article by a woman we are going to see for training this week. It could have been written by our family...particularly me. Nearly all of it rang true...eerily true.
Click on this link:
It is the article entitled "Issues Facing Adoptive Mothers of Children with Special Needs".
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