Happy Lazy Sunday. It is so Fall in CT today. Down right chili. We have the pumpkin candles burning and are already thinking about when we will set a fire in the fireplace! But we LOVE it. It is Fair season all the way and although we missed a big, local fair this weekend, we plan to hit up more as Fall moves ahead.
We have been doing well here in recent weeks. Everyone is settling into a nice routine. Isaiah is learning more and more every day both at daycare and at School. He has been processing his living situation a LOT lately. Lots of questions about why he lives with us now and why he lived with his bio mom when he was a baby. This past week he asked why he wasn't my baby and told Gabe and I that he missed us when he was a baby living with his mom...and that he didn't know our names then. He's right. We know his wheels are turning in his little head and we answer questions the best we can while staying age appropriate. One thing that has helped is our ability to say that he will not be going back to live with his mom and that he will be staying here.
One of the social workers that we are working with has indicated that adoptive children have to navigate through 14 additional phases of life compared to biological children. We are seeing that in real life right now. All we can do is hope that we are helping him understand it all a little better.
We just finished his first homework assignment at the kitchen table. As we got up after completing it I said, "well there will be years of that to come, my friend". His response "What? What you said?" Riiiiight!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Shocker!
Quick update. There was a court date on Monday. We knew it but blocked it out with everything else going on. DCF reminded us and our attorney was going to be at court for something else anyway. So they all went and we did not. DCF called at about 4pm to say that Isaiah's Mom went to court and voluntarily gave up her parental rights that day. As much as we hoped for this, I cried. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her being that we couldn't let him go after living with him for a year and not having given birth to him. She also stated that she didn't think there should be any further visits because she would be so emotional that it might negatively impact Isaiah. Something we respect but that breaks our heart for him. We hope she reconsiders because we would like them to have a final visit.
We heard from DCF that Mom was devastated when she heard we were having Isaiah move to another family. When she heard we reconsidered she cried tears of joy. In my heart I believe she wanted to help make this easier on him and us as we move forward. For that we are very thankful!
Big week here at Casa Carr. We just want some calm now! CALM I SAY!
We heard from DCF that Mom was devastated when she heard we were having Isaiah move to another family. When she heard we reconsidered she cried tears of joy. In my heart I believe she wanted to help make this easier on him and us as we move forward. For that we are very thankful!
Big week here at Casa Carr. We just want some calm now! CALM I SAY!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Summer fun
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| Little pirate |
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| Auntie Hannah and Isaiah |
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| Serious talk! |
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| THROW ME! |
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| Jimmy "superfly" Snuka! |
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| First day of Kindercamp |
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| Beach |
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| More Beach |
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| WAVES! |
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| Getting very comfortable in the pool |
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| us! |
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Not the update some of you are expecting!
Hello and...well hello. It's been a while. We hope that you have all had a wonderful summer. It's hard to believe school is starting and that the Fall will soon be upon us. Love it though!!!
Well I have quite an update and the title says it all. Over the past couple of months, the Carrs have gone on an unbelievable roller coaster ride. I won't go in to all of it, but we have endured many many challenges with Isaiah, within ourselves and the the challenge of making the ultimate decision of whether or not we were all a good fit for each other. In the beginning of August, we made the decision to have Isaiah move on from our home. It was a very difficult decision but, at the time, we felt it was best. We began the process of transition, a word I despise now, just for the record. We had extra support services implemented, held off on certain evaluations and waited for DCF to find a suitable family for him. When they did, we even went as far as meeting them and their son to begin the transition (ugh). Then we broke down.
As we thought about Isaiah leaving our home, it seemed unfathomable. We didn't know how we would actually pack his things and put him in a car to move away. We cried...usually daily...about the transition. (blach) We even talked as though it might not happen and secretly wished the new family wouldn't feel comfortable moving forward. After meeting them and learning how wonderful they were, we felt worse, not better. We knew he could do well there, but just didn't think we could let go. So we aren't! We went back to DCF and asked for them to consider letting him stay here. They were hesitant...probably because we kind of waivered once or twice before. Whoops! But we totally understood their hesitation and met with them this morning to hash it all out. They asked hard questions which we answered and we committed to having Isaiah in our family, as he already is. We just received word that they are going to allow him to stay and that they are happy that he won't have to move. We will have a lot of work ahead of us, but as we are learning, that is just part of being a parent, which is exactly what he sees us as...his Mommy and Daddy! So we are committed to working through our fears and frustrations and becoming a forever family.
Next will come some pictures of how he spent his summer, because, well he had a blast!
Until then...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
WOOOO FREAKING HOOOOO!
Good morning~
Today is a blog post worthy day for sure, so I marched right downstairs and decided to update.
We found out yesterday that there has been a change to visitation between Isaiah and his mom. He has been seeing her weekly since he came here over 9 months ago and those weekly visits have really made life more challenging for us all around. Well as of yesterday he will now only see her once a month! This is a huge relief to us as it really means we can start to see the child that will hopefully live here forever. He has been still very hesitant and scared to attach to us because of his loyalties to his mom and seeing her so often. We hope this will allow all of us to become more close knit! Fingers crossed!
This weekend we went to a local carnival...here are some pics!
waiting in line with his tickets
can you guess what ride we're on?
surely his favorite part!
weeeeeeeee!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Remember us?
Happy Memorial Day weekend to everyone. I know it has been MONTHS since I have updated the blog. There really hasn't been much to update. No movement in the case...still some struggles but we are getting there. So today I was looking at some pictures and thought I should at least put some up here so everyone can see how much Isaiah is changing and all of the things he is experiencing!
Well, now that I think about it.... I guess there are some things to update.
Isaiah will be changing day cares in a couple of weeks. We are moving him to a home based day care in August. For the end of June and July...we have some interesting plans for his care. (:
My mom will watch him for a week in June and then Gabe's mom will be coming out from Ohio to watch him for the last week in June. I am taking the month of July off (gasp) and he and I will chill together having a ton of summer fun. As a family we will also take a week long trip to the shore during July. Then he will start his new day care in August AND he will start preschool at the local elementary school next year. WOW!
We have had Isaiah for 9 months now...sometimes is seem much longer and other times it seems like it has gone by so fast. What we know now is that the adoption will not be final any time soon due to many different reasons. But we are okay with that. We are still learning a lot about the little guy and are happy to have the support of the services provided by the state to help us as we learn.
New Turtle Sand box
Monday, March 29, 2010
Pictures!
This link takes you to our Facebook album with Isaiah's pictures. The most recent ones are at the end...Easter Egg coloring and the bunny blast on 3/28/10 at a local school.
Enjoy!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Figuring things out...we think!
Happy Sunday morning~
We are staying in bed a little longer this morning, just relaxing. We've had a pretty good week this week, on all fronts. I'll give you the bullet points version:
-Isaiah is doing a little bit better at his daycare. His teacher is getting more firm with him and one of the negatively influencing children is no longer there. So less climbing on tables, dumping paint and hitting people this week, Phew!
-Isaiah started a Sports program on Monday evenings with Gabe. He LOVES it. It's for wee ones to help them build sports skills and agility. There are stations that the kids go around doing all sorts of fun stuff. Isaiah particularly likes the Basketball station.
-We have a PPT for Isaiah on 4/6 to find out if he will qualify for the town preschool program. We hope he does, but never know.
-Gabe and I got a new attorney this week, who we REALLY like. He really knows his stuff!! All he does is child welfare work and we were impressed with his approach from the first phone call we had with him.
-DCF is filing the termination of parental rights petition with the court this week. From there we will get a plea date, which will likely be near the end of April / beginning of May. DCF suspects that Isaiah's Mom will consent to terminate her rights at the plea date to avoid a trial. That would be great! Fingers crossed.
Last night our cousin Katie came by and babysat Isaiah for a few hours while we went out to watch Basketball with some friends. It was a much needed evening out. Isaiah was uneasy by the end of the night, worried we may not be coming home, but in the end it was all great. We are committed to getting out a little more and getting him used to babysitters, and to the fact that if we go out we will always come home. That was inconsistent with his Mom.
Today we are going to one of the town schools for what's called the Bunny Blast! The local Lions club chapter holds it for kids ages 2-8. The Easter Bunny will be there, crafts and of course a bouncy house!!! Barbie, Baby William and Alejandra are coming with us. Will post pictures later.
Until then...
We are staying in bed a little longer this morning, just relaxing. We've had a pretty good week this week, on all fronts. I'll give you the bullet points version:
-Isaiah is doing a little bit better at his daycare. His teacher is getting more firm with him and one of the negatively influencing children is no longer there. So less climbing on tables, dumping paint and hitting people this week, Phew!
-Isaiah started a Sports program on Monday evenings with Gabe. He LOVES it. It's for wee ones to help them build sports skills and agility. There are stations that the kids go around doing all sorts of fun stuff. Isaiah particularly likes the Basketball station.
-We have a PPT for Isaiah on 4/6 to find out if he will qualify for the town preschool program. We hope he does, but never know.
-Gabe and I got a new attorney this week, who we REALLY like. He really knows his stuff!! All he does is child welfare work and we were impressed with his approach from the first phone call we had with him.
-DCF is filing the termination of parental rights petition with the court this week. From there we will get a plea date, which will likely be near the end of April / beginning of May. DCF suspects that Isaiah's Mom will consent to terminate her rights at the plea date to avoid a trial. That would be great! Fingers crossed.
Last night our cousin Katie came by and babysat Isaiah for a few hours while we went out to watch Basketball with some friends. It was a much needed evening out. Isaiah was uneasy by the end of the night, worried we may not be coming home, but in the end it was all great. We are committed to getting out a little more and getting him used to babysitters, and to the fact that if we go out we will always come home. That was inconsistent with his Mom.
Today we are going to one of the town schools for what's called the Bunny Blast! The local Lions club chapter holds it for kids ages 2-8. The Easter Bunny will be there, crafts and of course a bouncy house!!! Barbie, Baby William and Alejandra are coming with us. Will post pictures later.
Until then...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Swimming Lessons!
Isaiah started swimming lessons this Saturday.
Here are some shots of him at the pool!
Boy that looks big!
Determination!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Nothing new to report...ZERO movement on the case. We won't comment on our frustration level. Instead, we'll post some pics and videos of what has been going on here!
Isaiah and Gabe at Target's Read Across America event. 2/27/10
Today it is 50 degrees in CT, last week there was enough snow to sled.
Isaiah and Gabe at Target's Read Across America event. 2/27/10
Today it is 50 degrees in CT, last week there was enough snow to sled.Sledding action!
First Home Depot Project.
He made this with Gabe at Home Depot and then came home and painted it!
Isaiah and William @ Dinosaur State Park.
They held hands most of the day!
First Home Depot Project.He made this with Gabe at Home Depot and then came home and painted it!
Isaiah and William @ Dinosaur State Park. They held hands most of the day!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Greetings!
Hello there~
I know I have not updated the blog much lately, but you always know why that is....there hasn't been anything to update. Well, now there is, so here is an update.
Isaiah is doing very well. He continues to learn so much at school and his speech and vocabulary are growing by the day. As are his musical interests. He is now requesting to hear both John Mayer and Dave Matthews on his CD player. Nice!
Last weekend Gabe's parents came to town for 4 days and he ate up all of the attention! He asks daily when they are coming back. He is truly enjoying having a large family.
As for the case, we think we are again moving forward. After recent difficulties his Mom has reconsidered signing consent to terminate her rights and we are hoping to sit down with her and her attorney, as well as ours, this week and try to come to an agreement. Isaiah's DCF worker is moving forward with the adoption paperwork and we believe this will happen sooner rather than later now. But we have been here before...don't forget. So we take everything with a grain of salt.
It has been 2 weeks since Isaiah has seen his mom and he really is a different little guy with that much time elapsed. He must go through such a roller coaster of emotions seeing her then not seeing her. We hope that, after our meeting with her, DCF will start decreasing visits with an eventual end date as soon as appropriate. HA! We think that is now, but who are we??!!?!
Isaiah had his first official play date with one of his friends from school today. I arranged it with the little boy's mom and we all met at McDonald's to play on the play scape. When we walked in he and his friend screeched with joy and ran over to hug one another. They played for a solid hour and had a great time. It was so good to see that a lot of the stuff Isaiah does it just typical little boy stuff. I think I was more nervous than anything. But he did so great!
So, we HOPE there will be movement this week and if there is, we'll update asap.
Until then...
I know I have not updated the blog much lately, but you always know why that is....there hasn't been anything to update. Well, now there is, so here is an update.
Isaiah is doing very well. He continues to learn so much at school and his speech and vocabulary are growing by the day. As are his musical interests. He is now requesting to hear both John Mayer and Dave Matthews on his CD player. Nice!
Last weekend Gabe's parents came to town for 4 days and he ate up all of the attention! He asks daily when they are coming back. He is truly enjoying having a large family.
As for the case, we think we are again moving forward. After recent difficulties his Mom has reconsidered signing consent to terminate her rights and we are hoping to sit down with her and her attorney, as well as ours, this week and try to come to an agreement. Isaiah's DCF worker is moving forward with the adoption paperwork and we believe this will happen sooner rather than later now. But we have been here before...don't forget. So we take everything with a grain of salt.
It has been 2 weeks since Isaiah has seen his mom and he really is a different little guy with that much time elapsed. He must go through such a roller coaster of emotions seeing her then not seeing her. We hope that, after our meeting with her, DCF will start decreasing visits with an eventual end date as soon as appropriate. HA! We think that is now, but who are we??!!?!
Isaiah had his first official play date with one of his friends from school today. I arranged it with the little boy's mom and we all met at McDonald's to play on the play scape. When we walked in he and his friend screeched with joy and ran over to hug one another. They played for a solid hour and had a great time. It was so good to see that a lot of the stuff Isaiah does it just typical little boy stuff. I think I was more nervous than anything. But he did so great!
So, we HOPE there will be movement this week and if there is, we'll update asap.
Until then...
tickling the ivories
We spent the evening at Bill and Andrea's house last night for play time and dinner. Isaiah and William took some time out to entertain us. Adorable!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I Love You This Much
This is a video of Isaiah reading Gabe one of his favorite books, I Love You This Much.
New Tent!
We took a family trip to IKEA this past weekend and Isaiah got a new tent aka Cave for his playroom!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
F-A-M-I-L-Y
Isaiah was watching a show today and this video came on. He instantly wanted to dance with Mommy (bev) and has been singing and humming the tune all day.
It really is quite cute!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDeh7kzXQrc
It really is quite cute!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDeh7kzXQrc
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
ACR
Good evening~
So we had an ACR for Isaiah today, annual case review..that is done every 6 months. Not really annual. HA!
It was me, mom, mom's husband and the DCF worker present. There was a moderator over the phone and we were off. Basically it was a status update of how Isaiah has been doing in placement. It was a tad uncomfortable, but I just kept breathing and drinking my water to get through.
The most interesting thing for me to learn is that Isaiah just might be starting to show his feeling appropriately and to the appropriate people. While we have seen a very affectionate and loving little guy, his mom has been seeing a slightly angry little boy who will not be affectionate to her or embrace her at all during visits. I thought, well, he's mad..and he is finally showing it to her and not us!
Also DCF restated that Isaiah's current plan is now adoption with a back up plan of reunification. This is the opposite of what it was last month. They plan to file termination of parental rights in March, if an agreement is not met by then.
We meet with our lawyer tomorrow to see if we come up with something, but in the end if we have to wait for termination to be filed to get exactly what we think is best for Isaiah, so be it.
I have been listening to the new John Mayer CD and there is a line that I have been singing over and over in my head. It is from the song War of my Life and it is:
And we are, we are prepared. So here we go!
Until then...
ps...if you want to hear the whole JM song, take a listen. LOVE HIM!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8_Y_1psB6g&feature=related
So we had an ACR for Isaiah today, annual case review..that is done every 6 months. Not really annual. HA!
It was me, mom, mom's husband and the DCF worker present. There was a moderator over the phone and we were off. Basically it was a status update of how Isaiah has been doing in placement. It was a tad uncomfortable, but I just kept breathing and drinking my water to get through.
The most interesting thing for me to learn is that Isaiah just might be starting to show his feeling appropriately and to the appropriate people. While we have seen a very affectionate and loving little guy, his mom has been seeing a slightly angry little boy who will not be affectionate to her or embrace her at all during visits. I thought, well, he's mad..and he is finally showing it to her and not us!
Also DCF restated that Isaiah's current plan is now adoption with a back up plan of reunification. This is the opposite of what it was last month. They plan to file termination of parental rights in March, if an agreement is not met by then.
We meet with our lawyer tomorrow to see if we come up with something, but in the end if we have to wait for termination to be filed to get exactly what we think is best for Isaiah, so be it.
I have been listening to the new John Mayer CD and there is a line that I have been singing over and over in my head. It is from the song War of my Life and it is:
Come out Angels
Come out Ghosts
Come out Darkness
Bring everyone you know
I'm not running
I'm not scared
I am waiting and well prepared
And we are, we are prepared. So here we go!
Until then...
ps...if you want to hear the whole JM song, take a listen. LOVE HIM!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8_Y_1psB6g&feature=related
Saturday, January 16, 2010
"Get yourself a lawyer!"
Happy Saturday. We had a nice warm day here today, even spent time outside with Isaiah and exercising!
Well it seems as there has been a lot to update everybody on over the past couple of weeks. And here is yet another update. We found out this past Monday that Isaiah's biological Mom is seriously considering consenting to terminate her rights. This would be a fast end to all of this if it actually happens. His DCF worker called Monday and told us to contact a lawyer to develop an open adoption agreement. So we have an appointment on Wednesday morning with a lawyer who does this type of work and we will see what happens. Kinda nutty.
Also on Tuesday I will attend a case review at DCF for Isaiah's case. It is likely that his Mom will be there so it will be a good time to see how she is really feeling about this. We are very surprised by this development but it is clear that mom is aware that the case is not moving in her direction and that her son is doing very well here. BUT, she could change her mind again...so we just wait and see.
Until then...
Well it seems as there has been a lot to update everybody on over the past couple of weeks. And here is yet another update. We found out this past Monday that Isaiah's biological Mom is seriously considering consenting to terminate her rights. This would be a fast end to all of this if it actually happens. His DCF worker called Monday and told us to contact a lawyer to develop an open adoption agreement. So we have an appointment on Wednesday morning with a lawyer who does this type of work and we will see what happens. Kinda nutty.
Also on Tuesday I will attend a case review at DCF for Isaiah's case. It is likely that his Mom will be there so it will be a good time to see how she is really feeling about this. We are very surprised by this development but it is clear that mom is aware that the case is not moving in her direction and that her son is doing very well here. BUT, she could change her mind again...so we just wait and see.
Until then...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
"Me love you oh much!"
Look at this another post within a week. Nice!
Isaiah has been having a very good week so far. He has been really happy! We have noticed that since we have had him start calling us Mommy and Daddy, he is sooo happy! Perhaps he needed that.
He has started going to bed with less issue this week and not requiring us to count, which is awesome. We used to have to stay up in his bedroom for like 10 minutes in the dark and count to 10 over and over to lull him to sleep. Now he climbs in bed and chooses a story over counting and then lulls himself by watching a fishy lamp my mother gave him for Christmas. ahhhh that Barbie!
Tonight we are dropping him off at a local community center for Respite Nite!!! An agency that collaborates with DCF hosts one every 6 months or so and you can drop the child off for an evening of fun and organized activities. SWEET! I think I was the FIRST one to RSVP, as soon as we got notification in the mail. So Gabe and I will bring him there, go out to dinner and go buy a new camera. So exciting!
The title of this post is something we have been hearing from Isaiah a lot this week. He loves us so much. He doesn't do the 's' sound too well yet! He's getting there...all around.
Tomorrow we are heading to a small children's museum with my cousin and his son for some kid fun. Should be a blast. We'll be sure to snap some photos on the new camera.
Until then....
Isaiah has been having a very good week so far. He has been really happy! We have noticed that since we have had him start calling us Mommy and Daddy, he is sooo happy! Perhaps he needed that.
He has started going to bed with less issue this week and not requiring us to count, which is awesome. We used to have to stay up in his bedroom for like 10 minutes in the dark and count to 10 over and over to lull him to sleep. Now he climbs in bed and chooses a story over counting and then lulls himself by watching a fishy lamp my mother gave him for Christmas. ahhhh that Barbie!
Tonight we are dropping him off at a local community center for Respite Nite!!! An agency that collaborates with DCF hosts one every 6 months or so and you can drop the child off for an evening of fun and organized activities. SWEET! I think I was the FIRST one to RSVP, as soon as we got notification in the mail. So Gabe and I will bring him there, go out to dinner and go buy a new camera. So exciting!
The title of this post is something we have been hearing from Isaiah a lot this week. He loves us so much. He doesn't do the 's' sound too well yet! He's getting there...all around.
Tomorrow we are heading to a small children's museum with my cousin and his son for some kid fun. Should be a blast. We'll be sure to snap some photos on the new camera.
Until then....
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Case Status Update
Happy New Year!
We hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season and are settling in for a happy and healthy new year. We had a nice season, but it was different with a child. We are still adjusting over here a bit!
I wanted to write and give a case status update...since a lot and nothing has gone on since my last real update.
Isaiah is doing very well in our home. He is learning so much at school and his speech continues to develop. He LOVES to watch Max and Ruby and I swear that is where he is learning words like 'delicious' and 'beautiful'. He uses those in his vocab now. Pretty nice! I am totally responsible, however, for teaching him "peace out" which he uses anytime we leave somewhere. I giggle each time he says it...and pray he doesn't say it to his teacher!
He is starting to develop quite a little personality. He loves John Mayer and has 2 favorite songs on the new CD which he tries desperately to sing in the car with me. Again, I giggle! But he is really coming into his own.
He got a ton of wonderful gifts for Christmas and loves all of them. He plays for hours in his play room. He has gotten very comfortable here and seems to be loving living here...except for the days when he doesn't and says he wants to leave. Totally appropriate from what we hear!
So onto the DCF case and the status of him living here. We have been on quite a roller coaster ride with DCF over the past month or so. It had gotten incredibly frustrating and we actually had to sit down and decided if we were going to continue in this process. Not so much because of Isaiah, although he had been exhibiting some particularly aggressive behaviors, but more because of the lack of control and input we have with DCF. It has become incredibly clear that DCF is the guardian, Mom is the mom, with rights...and we are just raising him. There were days we both felt so infuriated about it. It came to a head over the holiday...great timing and Gabe and I sat back, didn't talk to DCF or anyone involved with the case for about a week to cool off and basically develop a plan of what we needed to make this work.
After the holiday we spoke with our Transition worker and she talked with DCF. And just as it has always been in this process, right when we have had it and are ready to pack it in, there was a shift in our direction.
We learned last week that the case for termination of parental rights has grown so strong that DCF is going to file for termination in March, 3 months earlier than originally intended. We couldn't believe it! It meant 3 less months of these feelings and that the process would move along much quicker because basically, when termination is filed, we start gaining some power and control of what happens next. And it is only 3 short months away!
So here is what happens until and after that. Isaiah will continue to have weekly visits with his mom unless it becomes inappropriate. Once termination is filed the case can go one of 2 ways:
1: we can offer some type of long term contact to mom in the form of an open adoption. This contact can be as little as setting up a PO box to send and receive pictures and letters from her or 2 visits a year to weekly visits. We would make the open adoption offer contingent on mom voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights and then the case would not have to go to trial, saving us all a lot of time.
2: we can offer a closed adoption, the case goes to trial and whatever happens happens.
If we offer mom contact in an open adoption and she refuses it and takes the case to trial and loses (which we are told she will), she would then get no option for contact with Isaiah. So really it is in her best interest to relinquish rights, have some contact and not go to trial. BUT we will see what happens. We know we will pursue an open adoption but with very limited contact.
In the past couple of weeks Isaiah has started calling us Mommy Bev and Daddy Gabe. We pushed this transition and are now moving to just mommy and daddy. Since doing so, he has really be super lovey and affectionate. Kisses abundant.
I think that is the entire update as of now. Like I said...a lot...and nothing. We are still in the same position, but it seems like things are moving in our direction. Let's certainly hope so!
It is snowing here again in CT...we have gotten something like 30 inches of snow just in the past week and a half here. So we are going to put Isaiah's sled together and take a stroll around the neighborhood. Pictures to follow....I promise before the next new year.
Until then...
We hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season and are settling in for a happy and healthy new year. We had a nice season, but it was different with a child. We are still adjusting over here a bit!
I wanted to write and give a case status update...since a lot and nothing has gone on since my last real update.
Isaiah is doing very well in our home. He is learning so much at school and his speech continues to develop. He LOVES to watch Max and Ruby and I swear that is where he is learning words like 'delicious' and 'beautiful'. He uses those in his vocab now. Pretty nice! I am totally responsible, however, for teaching him "peace out" which he uses anytime we leave somewhere. I giggle each time he says it...and pray he doesn't say it to his teacher!
He is starting to develop quite a little personality. He loves John Mayer and has 2 favorite songs on the new CD which he tries desperately to sing in the car with me. Again, I giggle! But he is really coming into his own.
He got a ton of wonderful gifts for Christmas and loves all of them. He plays for hours in his play room. He has gotten very comfortable here and seems to be loving living here...except for the days when he doesn't and says he wants to leave. Totally appropriate from what we hear!
So onto the DCF case and the status of him living here. We have been on quite a roller coaster ride with DCF over the past month or so. It had gotten incredibly frustrating and we actually had to sit down and decided if we were going to continue in this process. Not so much because of Isaiah, although he had been exhibiting some particularly aggressive behaviors, but more because of the lack of control and input we have with DCF. It has become incredibly clear that DCF is the guardian, Mom is the mom, with rights...and we are just raising him. There were days we both felt so infuriated about it. It came to a head over the holiday...great timing and Gabe and I sat back, didn't talk to DCF or anyone involved with the case for about a week to cool off and basically develop a plan of what we needed to make this work.
After the holiday we spoke with our Transition worker and she talked with DCF. And just as it has always been in this process, right when we have had it and are ready to pack it in, there was a shift in our direction.
We learned last week that the case for termination of parental rights has grown so strong that DCF is going to file for termination in March, 3 months earlier than originally intended. We couldn't believe it! It meant 3 less months of these feelings and that the process would move along much quicker because basically, when termination is filed, we start gaining some power and control of what happens next. And it is only 3 short months away!
So here is what happens until and after that. Isaiah will continue to have weekly visits with his mom unless it becomes inappropriate. Once termination is filed the case can go one of 2 ways:
1: we can offer some type of long term contact to mom in the form of an open adoption. This contact can be as little as setting up a PO box to send and receive pictures and letters from her or 2 visits a year to weekly visits. We would make the open adoption offer contingent on mom voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights and then the case would not have to go to trial, saving us all a lot of time.
2: we can offer a closed adoption, the case goes to trial and whatever happens happens.
If we offer mom contact in an open adoption and she refuses it and takes the case to trial and loses (which we are told she will), she would then get no option for contact with Isaiah. So really it is in her best interest to relinquish rights, have some contact and not go to trial. BUT we will see what happens. We know we will pursue an open adoption but with very limited contact.
In the past couple of weeks Isaiah has started calling us Mommy Bev and Daddy Gabe. We pushed this transition and are now moving to just mommy and daddy. Since doing so, he has really be super lovey and affectionate. Kisses abundant.
I think that is the entire update as of now. Like I said...a lot...and nothing. We are still in the same position, but it seems like things are moving in our direction. Let's certainly hope so!
It is snowing here again in CT...we have gotten something like 30 inches of snow just in the past week and a half here. So we are going to put Isaiah's sled together and take a stroll around the neighborhood. Pictures to follow....I promise before the next new year.
Until then...
Christmas!
This was our first Christmas with a 3 year old...and we really didn't know what to expect. Christmas Eve we went up to our relatives house about 45 minutes away and there were 3 other 3 year olds there. It was kid heaven! Isaiah played with the other kids and we had a birthday cake for my Grandpa. this is the kids helping get the candles set.
Christmas morning we woke up and Isaiah kept asking if Santa came. He was honestly confused. He is still trying to figure all of this out. Here is a video of part of our morning.
Christmas morning we woke up and Isaiah kept asking if Santa came. He was honestly confused. He is still trying to figure all of this out. Here is a video of part of our morning.
Teeth cleaning!
Isaiah did great at the dentist recently...and then told us he would like to be Elton John for Halloween next year!
Instrument party
We hosted a musical instrument party on December with friends and their kids. not sure what we were thinking, but there were instruments, music and a disco ball. Isaiah loves the drums!
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