We had another visit with Charlie today. We took the afternoon off and he was thrilled when we got there running up to greet us. Today Bev became Bevelina. Seriously, that is what he called her all day, in complete sincerity and seriousness!
We went to the library to read and play. He did great. We played some, read some, and did puzzles. He read some books on shapes and colors, which is what he is best at but had a harder time with his numbers. We stayed for about 2 hours and then had to head back. He didn't want to leave and had a little tantrum, but it lasted all of 90 seconds and we were off.
He loves his new booster seat for the car and he he told it so and kissed it when he got out. We sang songs on the way back to the safe home, mostly nursery rhymes that he likes. But we did have the radio on briefly and he bobbed his head to a "rock" song he liked. FYI - It was Prince, Little Red Corvette. Made me warm inside to know he digs Prince!
We talked to him about going camping with us Saturday and he seemed excited but who knows! We even read a camping book at the library and he got super excited to cook marshmallows!
So that is our plan, pick him up Saturday around 11 for the day and tire him out in the great outdoors! Until then...
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
3 whole hours...
Today was a beautiful day outside, very nice for a visit with our friend Charlie. We arrived at the safe home to pick him up for lunch and he ran to greet us saying, "My friends are here". He also got his hair cut today. Looks very nice!
We all hopped in the car...him in to the new booster seat we bought for him..who knew...and headed to Friendly's for lunch. We figured what better place to stimulate a kid and see how he does. Happy to report he did great. He ate all of his Grilled Cheese and Applesauce...sometimes dipping one into the other. He told us he never wanted another cucumber AGAIN, meaning his pickles...which Bev happily ate for him. Each time she ate one he gasped with disbelief and crinkled his nose at her!
For the past 2 days he has stayed dry in his pull ups, telling the safe home staff when he needs to pee. He did the same with us today, and went on the toilet at Friendly's.
After he ate, we had some ice cream...I am telling you we were at Friendly's for over an hour and we just chatted, colored and ate happily.
Then we went to the playground near by. We were all for pumpkin picking but never got around to it. There were a slew of kids on the playground, a lot Charlie's age so it was a good test for him. We talked to him on the way there about how some kids like to play by themselves and other kids like to play together so it is best to ask first. Well as soon as we turned the corner into the yard, he was yelling, "DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?". Most of the kids were very friendly and he played appropriately. He really only had to be redirected when he saw another kid's toy...because he went RIGHT for it. But he moved on easily when we told him 'no'.
He got enthralled and worked up playing and pooped in his pull up! That was a treat. He didn't want to go change it but we did and MAN was that a lesson learned. 4 year olds poop MUCH more than babies! But we survived and he got a new pull up on and back to the playground he went. When it was time to go he gave us some difficulty but eventually came as we started walking out of the playground. On the way back to the safe home he sat in the back seat sucking his thumb "resting". He was a tired boy..as were we!
So here is our plan....Wednesday another visit, likely to the library and maybe dinner with him at the safe home. Saturday we are camping so we are going to pick him up and let him spend the day with us at the campground! If all continues to go well, the first overnight is planned for the weekend of the 24th. We are a tad overwhelmed and nervous but just taking it one step at a time!
Until then...
We all hopped in the car...him in to the new booster seat we bought for him..who knew...and headed to Friendly's for lunch. We figured what better place to stimulate a kid and see how he does. Happy to report he did great. He ate all of his Grilled Cheese and Applesauce...sometimes dipping one into the other. He told us he never wanted another cucumber AGAIN, meaning his pickles...which Bev happily ate for him. Each time she ate one he gasped with disbelief and crinkled his nose at her!
For the past 2 days he has stayed dry in his pull ups, telling the safe home staff when he needs to pee. He did the same with us today, and went on the toilet at Friendly's.
After he ate, we had some ice cream...I am telling you we were at Friendly's for over an hour and we just chatted, colored and ate happily.
Then we went to the playground near by. We were all for pumpkin picking but never got around to it. There were a slew of kids on the playground, a lot Charlie's age so it was a good test for him. We talked to him on the way there about how some kids like to play by themselves and other kids like to play together so it is best to ask first. Well as soon as we turned the corner into the yard, he was yelling, "DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?". Most of the kids were very friendly and he played appropriately. He really only had to be redirected when he saw another kid's toy...because he went RIGHT for it. But he moved on easily when we told him 'no'.
He got enthralled and worked up playing and pooped in his pull up! That was a treat. He didn't want to go change it but we did and MAN was that a lesson learned. 4 year olds poop MUCH more than babies! But we survived and he got a new pull up on and back to the playground he went. When it was time to go he gave us some difficulty but eventually came as we started walking out of the playground. On the way back to the safe home he sat in the back seat sucking his thumb "resting". He was a tired boy..as were we!
So here is our plan....Wednesday another visit, likely to the library and maybe dinner with him at the safe home. Saturday we are camping so we are going to pick him up and let him spend the day with us at the campground! If all continues to go well, the first overnight is planned for the weekend of the 24th. We are a tad overwhelmed and nervous but just taking it one step at a time!
Until then...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The next visit
Here is the most recent update:
Charlie went to the dentist today and had an excellent check up; no cavities!! That is great! We hope he likes brushing his teeth more so than JP does!
We will be heading up to the Safe Home on Sunday 10/12 for lunch and pumpkin picking with Charlie! We are very excited!
We will post an update once we are done with our visit...and if this visit goes well, we have a more definite plan for weeks to come.
Until then...
Charlie went to the dentist today and had an excellent check up; no cavities!! That is great! We hope he likes brushing his teeth more so than JP does!
We will be heading up to the Safe Home on Sunday 10/12 for lunch and pumpkin picking with Charlie! We are very excited!
We will post an update once we are done with our visit...and if this visit goes well, we have a more definite plan for weeks to come.
Until then...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Charlie bit me!
Thanks to Gabe's brother Jared and the link below...this is all Gabe has been saying for the past 3 days. He just likes to say Charlie's name...but no it is not the same Charlie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Round 2...
Greetings ~ so we went to see Charlie again today. When we arrived at the safe home, he was in time out for being "aggressive" towards the staff. Time out consisted of him being gated in his room that has nothing other than a bed. He lost his dresser for jumping off it and he lost all his toys for misusing them and yesterday, during a fit, he tore down his curtains! As I write this I laugh, which is awful, but to think about it is kind of funny just because he is cute. But I am sure he can be a handful. Luckily we haven't see it yet...even today.
Let me set the scene for you...it was "let's decorate the house for Halloween" day at the safe home...think ghosts, spiders, streamers, lights, everything gory spread across the entire kitchen table. WE were over stimulated never mind the children. Staff were up on ladders stapling, taping and directing. This is a 4 year old's dream! BUT I must say when we arrived, Charlie turned his tears around, played well with us, tried to use the potty because he didn't want us to leave and was well behaved again. He definitely needed redirection, but seriously, go back to the setting and the stimulus. He did everything we asked him to do, even though at times he didn't like it. He gave Gabe a hug over the back which was very cute. He sat quietly with us as we tried counting and ABC's. He was VERY quick to say "I can't do it" so that will need some work.
All in all it was another good visit, nothing out of the ordinary for a 4 year old boy that we can see...and we did try to instigate him a bit, but he just didn't respond. There was some jumping and head flailing but more impulsive behaviors than anything else. He sucks his thumb when he is concentrating...and his fingers and fist when he is REALLY concentrating.
Our next step is to talk to DCF again and see where they are at with moving forward with terminating mom's rights and with seeking a behavioral health evaluation for him. Nothing so far has made us say we are walking away so our next visit will likely be off site (we have to put him in our car!) and perhaps then we will see some other challenging behaviors. He really wants to see JP!! Who can blame him though, really.
Until then...
Let me set the scene for you...it was "let's decorate the house for Halloween" day at the safe home...think ghosts, spiders, streamers, lights, everything gory spread across the entire kitchen table. WE were over stimulated never mind the children. Staff were up on ladders stapling, taping and directing. This is a 4 year old's dream! BUT I must say when we arrived, Charlie turned his tears around, played well with us, tried to use the potty because he didn't want us to leave and was well behaved again. He definitely needed redirection, but seriously, go back to the setting and the stimulus. He did everything we asked him to do, even though at times he didn't like it. He gave Gabe a hug over the back which was very cute. He sat quietly with us as we tried counting and ABC's. He was VERY quick to say "I can't do it" so that will need some work.
All in all it was another good visit, nothing out of the ordinary for a 4 year old boy that we can see...and we did try to instigate him a bit, but he just didn't respond. There was some jumping and head flailing but more impulsive behaviors than anything else. He sucks his thumb when he is concentrating...and his fingers and fist when he is REALLY concentrating.
Our next step is to talk to DCF again and see where they are at with moving forward with terminating mom's rights and with seeking a behavioral health evaluation for him. Nothing so far has made us say we are walking away so our next visit will likely be off site (we have to put him in our car!) and perhaps then we will see some other challenging behaviors. He really wants to see JP!! Who can blame him though, really.
Until then...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Another visit!
We are heading back to the Safe Home on Sunday afternoon for another visit with Charlie, it is all confirmed. We'll let you know how it goes!!!
Until then...
Until then...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Fridays are emotional!
So today was our big visit with Charlie. We got up and took a drive through a very scenic part of CT to get to the safe home...only getting slightly lost. When we got there Charlie came out to greet us in an orange and gray striped shirt with gray sweatpants on. And of course blinking tonka truck sneakers! We went to the play room and just hung out and played with him. We thought other kids would be there, but it was just us, him and his safe home worker. At first, he was stand offish to Gabe. Made sense since he has had zero male role models and the men that have been in his life have been abusive to his mom. But he warmed up to Gabe after Bev asked Gabe to help her with something.
He has very blond hair and blue eyes...which he told us were blue (knows his colors). He is chubby with spikey hair. At one point he looked at Gabe's hair and I swear he was thinking, "your hair is spikey like mine!"
We played with cars and play-doh and a school bus. It was clear that he has learned a lot of colors and shapes but not many letters and that someone used to read to him because he asked Gabe to read him a story, pulled his chair right up next to him and put his hand on Gabe's knee.
He followed directions really well and put his toys away even though it was killing him to do so. There was no yelling or defiance. No throwing of any toys...other than the silly Mr. Potato Head glasses that he has no use for.
We showed him a picture of JP on the cell phone and he looked with very caring eyes and asked if we could bring JP to visit next time.
As we left the visit, he ran out into the parking lot. Bev asked him to hold her hand and he said no, so she grabbed Gabe's hand and Charlie said.."noooo, I want to", so we all walked across the parking lot holding hands. Then he ran away from the safe home worker. (hee hee)
So, we are going to go see him again, maybe Sunday evening if they will allow it, in a different type of setting, maybe with other kids around.
Until then...
He has very blond hair and blue eyes...which he told us were blue (knows his colors). He is chubby with spikey hair. At one point he looked at Gabe's hair and I swear he was thinking, "your hair is spikey like mine!"
We played with cars and play-doh and a school bus. It was clear that he has learned a lot of colors and shapes but not many letters and that someone used to read to him because he asked Gabe to read him a story, pulled his chair right up next to him and put his hand on Gabe's knee.
He followed directions really well and put his toys away even though it was killing him to do so. There was no yelling or defiance. No throwing of any toys...other than the silly Mr. Potato Head glasses that he has no use for.
We showed him a picture of JP on the cell phone and he looked with very caring eyes and asked if we could bring JP to visit next time.
As we left the visit, he ran out into the parking lot. Bev asked him to hold her hand and he said no, so she grabbed Gabe's hand and Charlie said.."noooo, I want to", so we all walked across the parking lot holding hands. Then he ran away from the safe home worker. (hee hee)
So, we are going to go see him again, maybe Sunday evening if they will allow it, in a different type of setting, maybe with other kids around.
Until then...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)