Hello everyone!
Well, it finally arrived, ADOPTION DAY! Yep, it was today. The anticipation has been building for a while here...and sometimes anticipation is a good thing and some times it's a pain. We experienced a little of both! But we made it to this day...and what a day it was. After days of heat and humidity we woke up to dry sunny weather this morning. A beautiful breeze went through the house as we prepared for the adoption ceremony.
Gabe's parents came in for the event, only in CT for about 20 hours to help us celebrate. Add to them, my parents, cousins and our good friends and we rolled up to that court house with a CREW! The judge, Chuck Norris, was great. Yes, that is really his name. He did a fabulous job with the ceremony and everyone posed for lots of pictures. Isaiah was a little uncomfortable with the attention but did all right once he was in front of Chuck Norris. Who wouldn't? After the ceremony and pics, we headed back to Colchester and celebrated with lunch, cake and the kiddie pool. The kids played for hours in the sun while the adults chatted, ate and relaxed. We sang "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" because, I mean, what is an appropriate adoption song, really?
After the last of the guests left we stayed outside for a while and just hung out...with our new dog, Bob. (that's another story) Right now, Isaiah is in bed, we are on the sofa with Bob and we just looked at one another and said, "now what"? I feel I could sleep for a week. Nearly 2 years ago this process started and even though our day to day life will not change, it feels different already. I guess it's time to exhale now. Will do!
We are so lucky to have amazing friends and family to have supported and continue to support us through this journey. It's been harder than anything we ever thought possible, but apparently so is parenthood in general. Thank you to everyone who has helped us with any and everything over the past 21 months. We never could have made it through this without your love and support!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
April showers bring May....adoptions!
Happy Spring! At least I think it is Spring. The weather has been so iffy, I dare not think it will be warm day to day. Eventually it will happen...right?
As we close out the month of April, I cannot believe all that has happened. It was a month full of emotional showers for sure. On April 4th, JP, our most beloved Bichon died. It is hard to believe it was almost 4 weeks ago. It feels like just yesterday and/or a year ago...depending on the day. His kidney disease really accelerated and eventually affected him neurologically. After 2 significant neurological events in three days, the vet made it clear that we had to make a decision for JP's care. Gabe and I cried so hard but knew that we would never want JP to be uncomfortable or disoriented, as he had become. So on April 4, early in the morning, he was euthanized. It has been a very difficult adjustment for us all to make, but we are getting through it.
The aftermath of JP's passing was difficult for everyone...for similar and different reasons. Isaiah really struggled with the fact that we adults were struggling. He was uncomfortable with our being so emotional...and it not being related to him. So he created ways for it to be related to him, making April a very challenging month, overall. We are finally all coming back around and feeling somewhat like ourselves, which is good...because we have an adoption to get ready for!
The date is set: May 31, 2011 @ 11:30am in Norwich CT. That is the day Isaiah will become Isaiah Carr! He has an outfit all ready and he has been practicing his new name. He has decided who he wants to invite to the ceremony and is getting pretty excited...as are we! We had our final in-home visit with DCF yesterday and that was a good feeling. Gradually we are starting to realize we won't have anyone to micromanage our lives...and make "helpful" suggestions about how we handle things. We will be free to screw it all up on our own!!! YEHAW! I feel as a parent I should be granted the right to screw up without it being documented, thank you very much!
Isaiah is finishing up his preschool year and growing leaps and bounds, academically and socially. The preschool program he was involved in this year was tremendous in so many ways and he is a school lover right now because of it. He is so invested in moving on to Kindergarten...so much so that he has been practicing flash cards to help in a couple of areas he is lagging...lower case letters and double digit numbers. He WANTS to be ready!!!
So, we are looking forward....to May. To recovering from the loss of our pet, to warmer days and to an official welcome of our son. Finally, it feels normal to say that. I've always hesitated because, in fact, he was not my son. Soon, he will be.
Until then...
ps...i won't be removing JP's signature from the blog. not quite there yet!
As we close out the month of April, I cannot believe all that has happened. It was a month full of emotional showers for sure. On April 4th, JP, our most beloved Bichon died. It is hard to believe it was almost 4 weeks ago. It feels like just yesterday and/or a year ago...depending on the day. His kidney disease really accelerated and eventually affected him neurologically. After 2 significant neurological events in three days, the vet made it clear that we had to make a decision for JP's care. Gabe and I cried so hard but knew that we would never want JP to be uncomfortable or disoriented, as he had become. So on April 4, early in the morning, he was euthanized. It has been a very difficult adjustment for us all to make, but we are getting through it.
The aftermath of JP's passing was difficult for everyone...for similar and different reasons. Isaiah really struggled with the fact that we adults were struggling. He was uncomfortable with our being so emotional...and it not being related to him. So he created ways for it to be related to him, making April a very challenging month, overall. We are finally all coming back around and feeling somewhat like ourselves, which is good...because we have an adoption to get ready for!
The date is set: May 31, 2011 @ 11:30am in Norwich CT. That is the day Isaiah will become Isaiah Carr! He has an outfit all ready and he has been practicing his new name. He has decided who he wants to invite to the ceremony and is getting pretty excited...as are we! We had our final in-home visit with DCF yesterday and that was a good feeling. Gradually we are starting to realize we won't have anyone to micromanage our lives...and make "helpful" suggestions about how we handle things. We will be free to screw it all up on our own!!! YEHAW! I feel as a parent I should be granted the right to screw up without it being documented, thank you very much!
Isaiah is finishing up his preschool year and growing leaps and bounds, academically and socially. The preschool program he was involved in this year was tremendous in so many ways and he is a school lover right now because of it. He is so invested in moving on to Kindergarten...so much so that he has been practicing flash cards to help in a couple of areas he is lagging...lower case letters and double digit numbers. He WANTS to be ready!!!
So, we are looking forward....to May. To recovering from the loss of our pet, to warmer days and to an official welcome of our son. Finally, it feels normal to say that. I've always hesitated because, in fact, he was not my son. Soon, he will be.
Until then...
ps...i won't be removing JP's signature from the blog. not quite there yet!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Songs that hit home....
Gabe and I went to a parenting workshop 2 weeks ago and the presenter shared two songs and their lyrics that represent what children like Isaiah, traumatized, neglected and removed from their birth parents feel and struggle with. Needless to say, when she played them and showed the lyrics, I couldn't stop crying. It's so easy to get caught up in day to day things and not remember all that this little boy has been through. So I thought I'd share them because it was a helpful and emotional experience for us.
I am a Rock
Remember the Tinman
(this is by Tracy Chapman, who grew up in Foster Care)
I am a Rock
Remember the Tinman
(this is by Tracy Chapman, who grew up in Foster Care)
Big changes!
Hello Basketball fans~
I hope you are all enjoying March Madness. I only wonder what kind of name Jimmer is?!?!?! It's all over the tournament and I find it interesting. Gabe is rooting for BYU in the final four so he is always talking about Jimmer. Jimmer this...Jimmer that...Go Jimmer. Ok then.
Onto non basketball topics...and there are many! I honestly don't even know where to begin. Two weeks ago, we made a decision to remove Isaiah from his Day Care. There was an incident and we were less than pleased with the Day Care owner's response. We pulled him for a week to figure things out, changed our work schedules to be home for The Dude and somehow made it work. At the end of the week we realized something. Everyone was happier. We were more tired due to the change but as a family, we were more at peace. We got to thinking...could we do this for a while...like til the end of the school year and see how it goes? And that's what we've decided to do. Isaiah is so thrilled to be home with us each day. We have a very part time sitter for a couple of hours Tuesday and Thursday whom he also loves...and she comes to our house.
We've learned that it gives us many more opportunities to work through any issues with Isaiah's behaviors. It provides so much more consistency and we are just less stressed, which was the most surprising. This week has been a little harder for The Dude because he gets scared as he bonds more with us but being home we are able to work through those things with no interruption or outside influences! Sweet. It's been a very positive change!
We PLAN to meet @ DCF on Wednesday, this Wednesday to sign paperwork that will move us to the final stages of the adoption. We hope there will be no changes in this plan but know other things are possible. BUT best case scenario...we sign papers....and in 4-6 weeks the adoption s FINAL! Yuuuup. It's nuts. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and revel in the fact that we can start making our own decisions for our family. That has been such a stress relief, at least for me! Isaiah is talking all about changing his name...and seems excited about it. We will soon start working on him spelling his last name! It will be easier once it's Carr! Piece of cake.
We have an exciting weekend ahead of us with a cousins extravaganza planned for Saturday. All the Frenette cousins and their kids are descending upon Casa Carr for food, drink and fun. Should be about 8 or 9 adults and as many small fries. Look out! Gabe plans to make his Special Subs. Mmmmm!
Wishing you all a fun weekend!
PS...when I ran spell check on this entry...it went nuts on Jimmer's name. Right!
I hope you are all enjoying March Madness. I only wonder what kind of name Jimmer is?!?!?! It's all over the tournament and I find it interesting. Gabe is rooting for BYU in the final four so he is always talking about Jimmer. Jimmer this...Jimmer that...Go Jimmer. Ok then.
Onto non basketball topics...and there are many! I honestly don't even know where to begin. Two weeks ago, we made a decision to remove Isaiah from his Day Care. There was an incident and we were less than pleased with the Day Care owner's response. We pulled him for a week to figure things out, changed our work schedules to be home for The Dude and somehow made it work. At the end of the week we realized something. Everyone was happier. We were more tired due to the change but as a family, we were more at peace. We got to thinking...could we do this for a while...like til the end of the school year and see how it goes? And that's what we've decided to do. Isaiah is so thrilled to be home with us each day. We have a very part time sitter for a couple of hours Tuesday and Thursday whom he also loves...and she comes to our house.
We've learned that it gives us many more opportunities to work through any issues with Isaiah's behaviors. It provides so much more consistency and we are just less stressed, which was the most surprising. This week has been a little harder for The Dude because he gets scared as he bonds more with us but being home we are able to work through those things with no interruption or outside influences! Sweet. It's been a very positive change!
We PLAN to meet @ DCF on Wednesday, this Wednesday to sign paperwork that will move us to the final stages of the adoption. We hope there will be no changes in this plan but know other things are possible. BUT best case scenario...we sign papers....and in 4-6 weeks the adoption s FINAL! Yuuuup. It's nuts. We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and revel in the fact that we can start making our own decisions for our family. That has been such a stress relief, at least for me! Isaiah is talking all about changing his name...and seems excited about it. We will soon start working on him spelling his last name! It will be easier once it's Carr! Piece of cake.
We have an exciting weekend ahead of us with a cousins extravaganza planned for Saturday. All the Frenette cousins and their kids are descending upon Casa Carr for food, drink and fun. Should be about 8 or 9 adults and as many small fries. Look out! Gabe plans to make his Special Subs. Mmmmm!
Wishing you all a fun weekend!
PS...when I ran spell check on this entry...it went nuts on Jimmer's name. Right!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Follow Up
Greetings
It is Tuesday here already and the weeks just keep flying by. We are pleased with that because it means that Spring gets here sooner. Our HUGE piles of snow have melted and the ground is a massive puddle of mud...which 4 year olds love.
I wanted to update everyone on Isaiah's final visit with his birth mom. It was on 2/25 and it was an emotional day. He met with her and she did an amazing job telling him why she could not care for him and why she wanted him to live and be cared for by us. He was nervous most of the time. She made him a recordable book entitled "On the Night You Were Born". Her voice is reading each page as you look at them. It is very sweet and how she brought herself to do any of this is amazing to us!
At the end we all met together and cried and hugged. With him in the middle. It was a chance for him to see that we all are ok with each other and that he is very loved. We took a picture of all of us together, which is not blown up and framed on his bedroom wall. Hopefully it won't be too sad for him to have it there.
We continue to wait for DCF to finish paperwork to allow us to move into the final stage of this process. Seriously, the day cannot come fast enough for us to just be parents and a family without being micromanaged and intervened upon.
JP is doing very well, by the way. For a while there he was losing weight and became pretty fragile. But now we are pureeing his food (yup) and he is eating like a champ. He is the sweetest pup in the world, really and a huge sense of pleasure and support to us in the tough times.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Interesting read!
On this rainy and chilly Sunday afternoon I have been doing some reading. Came across an article by a woman we are going to see for training this week. It could have been written by our family...particularly me. Nearly all of it rang true...eerily true.
Click on this link:
It is the article entitled "Issues Facing Adoptive Mothers of Children with Special Needs".
Thursday, February 17, 2011
One week and one day!
Hello friends!
Well here we are in the middle of February and, personally, I can't wait until it's over. We're sick of Winter here in CT and are so looking forward to the Spring. And we really hope we are done with snow for the year. HA!
We are also looking forward to the end of February for other reasons. On Feb 25th (one week and one day) some big things are happening and some bigger things might be happening. First that is the day that Isaiah will have his "goodbye" visit with his birth mom. It has been a work in progress but we have gotten here, finally. I put goodbye in quotes because we still are not completely sure we will not allow future visits with his birth mom in the future. We are considering an annual visit around her birthday, which is in June. But we need to see how things go first. Isaiah doesn't know about this yet but we will be prepping him next week. He has been doing a lot of work with his therapist about becoming adopted...he thought he already was and told her as much! Lots of progress on the "family" front.
The other thing that may be happening, but is less likely if we stay realistic...is that DCF will be coming for their monthly visit on the 25th. Well we know that part will happen. Actually, no we don't...DCF friend cancels sometimes...but moving on. IF things have moved ahead this months as we HOPE they have, she will be bringing final paperwork for us to sign for the adoption. Signing those papers then moves this into the stage of getting a Probate court date for the finalization of the adoption. Usually between signing these papers and total finalization is about 4-6 weeks. So, if we sign on the 25th, we could be all said and done by the end of March. BUT we are WELL aware that it may not be this way. If so, we will sign papers in March and the adoption should be final by April.
Either way, things are really moving now. Isaiah continues to make progress everywhere and is really starting to feel settled into life here and part of the family. Of course, things will take some steps back after he sees his birth mom, but that is expected!
So...I can't wait for 2/25 to come. This will probably be the longest 8 days!
Until then...
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